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Awesomeness in plain text
A Soliloquy In Desperation
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 6/26/2013 10:21:00 PM
This is a post, not from me, but a good friend a dear brother, who shared with me his experience through darkness and hardship. This is his story, his soliloquy during his tough times, in his weakness and moments of fragility. Here I share with you: A Soliloquy In Desperation. 

A Soliloquy In Desperation

Specially dedicated to my dearest brother,
Whom has been always by my side through summers and winters,
Listening, encouraging and comforting me with utmost patience and love.


To gain victory,
A victory of ten thousand gold,
I have made my plea known to You,
And eagerly apprehended for the day,
The second when my yearn is finally fulfilled.

Many days many nights,
Even before daybreak and after twilight,
I have knelt before Your mercy seat,
Making petitions like never before,
Making promises, uttering praises.

O Lord, omniscience and omnipotence adorned,
O Father, my creator that understands thoroughly,
How important is this victory to me, and I begged,
That this is not made into a trial,
That You would grant me defeat to test me.

Submit to His will is an obligation,
But my heart is troubled.
What if his will is my defeat, just what if?
Is there truly no room for compromise?
Is it certain that His every decision is absolute?

I have spent most of my time,
To worry, to worry in vain.
You as if have shown me signs,
Signs of your own dear presence,
As my beacon towards success.

I believed it will be granted if I asked,
My mind meditated on examples of the past,
Of those prayers were heard.
I entrusted, I prayed, I waited,
I knew victory would surely be mine.


Then suddenly, the tragedy struck me,
Overpowering me like a tempest,
Laden with terror and sorrow,
Calling all my efforts void,
Destructing every single possible path.

My heart was in desolation,
Because the hope, the confidence, the optimism,
The very beautiful anticipation,
They had all departed in no time,
Leaving the negatives in dominion.

My soul was in drought,
As the desert earth, fractured,
Scorched by the wild sun,
Its skeleton laid bare,
There, longing for some drizzle.


And I searched every corner,
Every compartment of my inside,
Where were you O faith?
Look! Is that not…
Oh help! It was down at the nadir!

O Lord, are You not a God of impartial?
Why do I need to go through these when others do not?
Is this just what I deserve after all these days?
Were You not with me always?
Why? Why?


But then I realized,
Perhaps this was a true tough trial,
Only to set me in a place fearful and futile,
To be renewed and refined,
To be a better vessel of God.

The walls were set,
Walls of protecting, not confining,
Because He sees beyond the present,
Because He considers with His wisdom,
And holds on to my hand as I journey.

But even so,
May God restore me,
That I may soon forgo,
Out of this fearful shadow,
Into a place with wonderful hopes.

O Lord my everlasting portion, the God of love,
Your grace extends from generation to generation,
Your faithfulness endures eternally.
I shall let my faith revive in You,
To trust in You and You only,
As the greatest of all.


Psalm 23:1-4 --

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

~Hymn 394~

Joshua is my name
Awesomeness exist in simplicity
Like the red in the rose,
And the green in the grass.
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