It all comes down to Chinese.
9 down, 1 to go. For the past few weeks, I was battling life and death with my ultimate enemy. For some I thought I fought quite well, but some I thought there are still rooms for improvement. Anyway, I don't think that I should even jump into any conclusion now because for the past few times which I did, all turn out the other way round. So this time, I learnt to be less confident and not to expect the best every time. Some people do say, the more you wish for, the more disappointed you would get, which I feel it is quite true. NO more confident this time, until 3 more dreading months, when the results unfold itself.
There were times when I thought to myself (or should I say fantasize?): That day I will be holding a result slip with 10 A+s and of course with my name on it. I'm not sure will I be crying tears of joy, but for sure my heart will be full of thanks and gratefulness. How I wish for that to happen! No more financial worries, especially for my poor parents, listening to them discussing about my college life, so very depressing. They wanted me to go for January intake, but at the same time wants everything to be at a low cost. They know that there'll not be any scholarships available for Jan, so why not take March? Sometimes it hard to figure out what they're thinking.
I need As. No, I need A+s.
Now I feel guilty for blogging when I should study Chinese. It's a shame that I feel insecure about Chinese, despite being a Chinese myself. A caring mentor once told me, I am more of a listener than a writer. I think it is true. I DO things, and that is why I am always behind in writing, be it academic essays or freelance writing. Sadly, writing plays a crucial role in academics, and I fear every day that it would eventually cause my fall. I hope this is not the time. I hope the time will never come.
So long, and wish me luck in this final battle.